10 Guaranteed Ways to Alienate Your Reader

Here is a list of errors—or perpetrations, if you’d rather—guaranteed to cut away a significant portion of your reading audience.

1. Center every line in your prose story.

2. Capitalize Every Damn Word In Each Sentence.  What’s That About, Anyway? 

3. WRITE IN ALL CAPS.  PEOPLE LOVE THIS.  IT MAKES READING YOUR WORK SO MUCH EASIER!

4. B kre8ive n ur spyling.  Ppl luv ‘t wen u d0o.

5. Use, commas, whenever, you, feel, like, it.

6. Likewise; semi-colons; the bomb.

7. Punctuation is and I mean this you just see for yourself if it isnt true is for losers

8. Always put a question mark at the end of a statement?

9. Remember, there are three kinds of people in the world.  Those who can count, and those who can’t.

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6 responses to “10 Guaranteed Ways to Alienate Your Reader

  1. Was #10 not to correctly number your lists? Just a guess. I’m starting to turn into a closet semicolon junkie. Guess I’ll have to be more careful.

  2. #10, herd, U? GRIN; GRIN; GRIN?

  3. *grin* good list 🙂

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